Thursday, April 03, 2003

The Penny Drops

I realized yesterday that I am having an extremely diffuse, low-grade, but very definite anxiety attack about the uncertainty in the world. Primarily the war but now SARS too. The symptom seems to be that I am spacing out on really elementary things at work. Now if something happens that requires that I engage my research or troubleshooting skills, I can do fine with it, but things I should be able to do with one hand tied behind my back, LAN Admin 101a, are surprisingly difficult. Well, it's mostly that I do the right thing to the wrong object because I didn't read carefully enough.

It's not enough to hit my Atavan supply for; actually, once I get home, life is pretty good and I can get quite happily involved with house work or reading. Distraction maybe but at least I'm getting something (positive) done. And I don't want to take the meds at work since they have a tendency to knock me out. Time to start reading the Psalms daily again, I think.

"Where can I go from your Spirit?
where can I flee from your presence?

If I climb up to heaven, you are there;
If I make the grave my bed, you are there also.

If I take the wings of the morning,
and dwell in the uttermost part of the sea,

Even there your hand would lead me,
and your right hand would hold me."

-- from Psalm 139


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